The Return

This post lays between a poem and blog like two pages stuck together in your favorite book.

On the page where your favorite passage rests.

I took a break.

I lost my way in a hazy maze sometime in October- of some year.

I forgot what I enjoyed about writing.

I forgot how to write.

Maybe, I didn’t forget.

Maybe, I was ignoring the desire, the calling, the muse.

I just let myself fall off the wall refusing to let the kings-men help.

I moved around, numb, on my own endless hamster wheel, living a never-ending rut.

Then, suddenly, I find the desire and joy in writing.

I may not write all the time.

I may not be as consistent as I like but I am here, again.

I fall, over and over again and I like my wounds, I tend to them until they have healed.

I discover the urge that excited me was visiting Rip Van Winkle for a much needed slumber.

Maybe, I had nothing to write about and that’s ok.

Push button start, ignition, READY, SET, WRITE.

Copyright © Delia Marrero 2019 All rights reserved.

WIP-Why I Write

I have been working on two writing projects. One is a compilation of original poetry and the other a novel.

For two years now, I have been chipping away at these projects. In this time I have learned that all writing requires time and patience, and I must first, finish the first draft.

Then, on to revising. Where the first sentence is never right and the next revisions still aren’t quite right until finally, that last draft.

Then, there, you see it, a typo.

Along with the first draft of my novel I am also working on a compilation of poetry, which has taken me just as long. My compilation is a grand total of, ten. These poems have been revised, chopped and altered. They’ve been reviewed and adjusted over time.

I thought poetry would be easy and I had one writing goal last year and that was to publish one poem. Well, 2018 came and went without a publication. I never realized how much time and money it takes to submit entries for consideration and I didn’t realize how much time it takes to fine tune one poem.

So here I am in 2019, still tweaking and finalizing my poetry.

2018, served as my teacher.

2018 showed me how much work is necessary to succeed with my writing.  Success is not necessarily defined by the number of readers you have, or how many times you have been paid to write, (although that is a huge bonus) but, for me, it’s knowing that the few who read my work liked it.

As a writer, I love to read.

And, what I want most is for someone to read through the countless hours of doubt, to inhale my words and enjoy them.

I have learned to write for myself. With the door closed, as Stephen King said. I write to release my energy.

I write when I feel that the pen has something to say that only the paper will understand.

I write to clear my head.

I write for fun.

I write with purpose.

I write just because I want to even when I have nothing to say. I write stories, poems, blogs and I tweet (not so well). But the point is, that I write.

Copyright © Delia Marrero 2019 All rights reserved.

Poetry and Me

Today, I am working on my poems, and I must have hit a nerve.

I began to squirm.

Writing from a place of vulnerability can be exhausting, in part because of the emotional toll it can take on you. Exploring past issues, rehashing out experiences that were once dead and done, reliving memories can be hard.

Lately, I find myself sifting through a compartmentalized box of memories (good and bad).

Sometimes, we bury our feelings deep within the confines of our souls and never really find closure. We move on from a bad moment and some of us never get the closure we need. But, my personal trip down memory lane has left me with a sense of healing, or closure.

What does closure look like?

For me, it comes in the form of a series of poems that explore my life and identity as a woman, a minority, and mother trying to figure out who I am in the midst of trying to raise strong young women.

And, let me tell you I am tired.

I am tired of being subjected to a world that expects certain behaviors and norms in order to succeed. I am tired of the way society has created standards of beauty. I am tired of sitting in a room where I am silently criticized because I color my hair blue (purple, pink, and green) or I have henna on my hands. I’m tired of trying to fit into white America in my America.

But, in this exhaustion I also find truths.

I find that I love discovering myself. I love the beauty of language. I discover that the power of words can move me to tears, bring me joy, or bring me peace. In this vulnerable place of discovery, I use my words to heal my wounds, to find my serenity.

Within the spaces of my lines, I build my stanzas of truth creating my poetic voice.

Copyright © Delia Marrero 2019 All rights reserved.

A Dog And My Blog

I write to engage the reader but how do I engage a reader with new and stimulating content when I feel the content getting stale?

A few months ago I found myself enthralled by Vu Le who was speaking at a local event  he stated and I misquote, “Everything is better with kittens.” He proceeded to show a slide of a baby kitten and it was cute, then he continued to talk about the nonprofit world. For me, the take away is that it’s important to have visuals in your blog to engage the reader and there is something about baby animals that make people take notice.

I don’t have a baby kitten but I have my rescued dog…

Jethro

This is a picture from 7 years ago. Now that you are mesmerized by my dog continue reading.

When I first started writing and blogging I was excited.  Ideas were always racing through my head. I had content and I was dumping it into my blog.

Now, I find it hard to finish what I write. I find that writing has become a chore over time. Now it feels forced and stale.

As I try to figure out my words I am left with this question: Where and how do I begin?

This past year has led me to question my identity as both an artist and person. My writing has troubled me for quite some time as I try to find inspiration in my daily life, workshops and writing groups. The writer is hibernating as I sift through the rest of my being.

I am examining old stories and poems, revising and editing trying to find what works again.

I just have to keep chipping away, piece by piece at the boulder that is blocking my path.

Copyright © Delia Marrero 2018 All rights reserved.

I am still working on my goal of raising funds to attend the Martha’s Vineyard Institue of Creative Writing. It’s not easy to continuously ask with originality. Honestly, I am running out of words and thank yous. I have reached out my audience over and over again and I know they must be tired of me at this point but OH WELL I am being persistent.

Chasing what I want and taking the steps towards becoming a better writer.

It always amazes me how the most supportive are those who you would have least expected. Then, those who you thought would support you ignore you but everything in life is a lesson learned.

What I learned is that if I don’t keep at this I will not get anywhere. I can’t be a writer in the dark. I have to find the mentors and workshops, I have to work on my craft, I have to WRITE.

I need to be proactive and do the things that will help me with my craft (NO! I am not talking about witchcraft). Writing takes practice, dedication, and time. Writing is not an overnight success story in which your first attempt is a masterpiece.

So I am still asking for help if you are able to, a share helps too. Below is my Go Fund Me:

https://www.gofundme.com/creative-writer039s-dream

 

Creative Writing HELP

Hello everyone! It has been a long time since I posted a blog. I have not been writing much since the dreaded writer’s block has made its way into my life and has settled down for the long haul. Recently, I decided that I need to break through this writer’s block and I have been actively revisiting works from my past, rewriting, redrafting and submitting. I have been receiving rejection letters but they do not deter me. Then late one night I received an email stating: “Your poem, which speaks to both your love of poetry and the moment of birth of your work is wonderful, and your letter which reveals the joys and the struggles of creative writing (btw: I’ll be talking about my own first 100 rejections in the class I teach) is precisely why MVICW exists—you seem a perfect match for our program.” I received a partial scholarship opportunity for a week-long writing workshop.

I am writing to ask for your help. Since this is only a partial scholarship p I still have to pay the remaining tuition balance, lodging and travel expenses.

I am reaching out because I need help. I have had unforeseen expenses and my general responsibilities and bills have made this surprising opportunity a little challenging to come up with all the necessary funds. The program received an additional donation and reached to me for the opportunity. If you can help it would be greatly appreciated.

Below is the link to my go fund me campaign:

https://www.gofundme.com/creative-writer039s-dream

 

THANK YOU! SHARING HELPS TOO!

 

 

Write—For Me

I set out to write a new collection of poetry and I am thinking about words more than I have in the past.

The most difficult thing about writing is trying to find new words that mean the same thing while creating a different version of what I already wrote without repeating myself.

Can you follow that?

Some days, I can’t because it is exhausting.

I think about the words I  use when I write.  I listen to the way they sound and explore the feelings which I am trying to express.

If the words don’t invoke any feeling then I know I’m doing it wrong.

This intricacy of language is what makes writing so difficult.

One word can alter everything that you are trying to express as a writer.

I have been trying to push my writing in a different direction and— as I write— I discovered that it doesn’t work. I was frustrating myself with every word because it did not sound right.

Then, BOOM! It hit me…

Through trial and error…

I have my own style and I should use what works for me and build my toolbox from this foundation.

I attended critiques sessions for poetry and for fiction, and I received positive feedback and constructive criticism that helped me. As I work on revisions I recall the the feedback that I receive. Some of the commentaries I received were geared around the musicality and lyrical quality of my word choice. My short story received positive feedback about the intentional wordplay I created was examined.   The woman who critiqued me wasn’t sure if it was intentional wordplay and I was proud when she called out to it because it was intentional.

These pieces came naturally, they flowed from my fingertips with ease and poetic prose. I wasn’t trying to reinvent the wheel.

Not everyone likes rhyming, most people don’t like poetry, and wordplay can get lost in the mix but I shouldn’t allow that to change my style.

I have an awkward inner poet that rises up from time to time ready to create a beautiful word-vine.

I love writing. I love poetry. I love a good story. I revel in telling stories and creating a thunderous voice that booms from the pages making you feel the power of prose.  A voice that can move you to tears—as a writer making people cry is so rewarding! Think about it! To muster up that kind of emotion in another being through language now that’s powerful!

So why should I try to please everyone else with my writing?

Writing makes me happy so I should enjoy what I write.

If I am genuine then I am sure to reach an audience that will appreciate what I have created as a writer and that is all I want, even if it is an audience of one.