Revised: An Empty Love Letter

I just revised this poem. I revised it because after reading it with fresh eyes I realized that it needed something else, it needed a facelift, a poetic facelift.

I am going to try and practice what I learned at The Martha’s Vineyard Institute of CreativeWriting.

I was fortunate enough to attend this program a few weeks ago and I learned so much.

I came home with a new found enthusiasm to work on my poetry and short stories. So this is my first revision of an old post.

via An Empty Love Letter

Music Monday’s

I forgot it was Monday and that I should be sharing some music. In the spirit of this weekend-here are my choices.

Notice the recurring theme!

Because I am a queen that thing goes on-and-on.

Let’s Share: Lisa St. John

You ever meet anyone who you instantly connect with? Someone who is amazing, happy and authentic. That is Lisa, I met her at a writer’s conference over the weekend and I cannot begin to tell you how kind she is. She touched my heart with her generosity and sincerity.

Check out her blog.

Oh, and her poetry because it is beautiful.

https://lisastjohnblog.com/about/

Let’s Share: Mary Beth

I made a new friend at a conference I attended over the weekend. Please stop by her and visit her blog. She was absolutely delightful and kind. She definitely had an infectious smile.

Happy Monday!

https://mbcoudal.com/about/

 

Slow Days

There are some days that just drag on and on without any end in sight.

Is this statement dramatic? YUP! After all I am permitted, on occasion, to be extreme. What would life be without sporadic embellishments?

I am consumed by, well — at the moment nothing. I oft think about everything all at once with no end in sight. Typically, my mind runs off creating a series of many things while trying to maintain some semblance of sanity through the chaos.

As of late my mind is quiet.

The storm has quieted, quit, left, dispersed even.

The days seem slower and a little longer, but before I know it—it’s tomorrow.

Slow but quick —this my friends is what I am going to call an oxymoron-juxtaposing-phrase! And that is how I am quantifying the whole of my existences at the moment. The day goes on and then, changes with the blink of an eye, but continuously drags throughout time.

This too shall pass.

All things in life pass, everything changes , nothing is ever as it was before. Slow days pass too, they become fleeting moments when least expected.

Now, don’t get me wrong I rather enjoy this slow pace and thoughtless mind.

There was  a point in my life I was constantly on the go. Always doing something, running my kids here and there and I kept busy, so busy that I stressed myself out. That is the routine that all of us are trained to adhere to.  I was convinced that my life was supposed to be like that. I think we all think that we are supposed to be so busy that you should never have free time.

Somehow we believe that free time is bad.

I realize now that free time is what we all need. Slow days give you time to realize that our lives are insignificant fleeting moments in time. We should not waste the moments pretending, analyzing, rushing around, scheduling time with friend and overworking ourselves into the ground.

Be happy, silly, immature and love those who mean something to you because, in the end, we are all worm food. It does not matter if your casket is made of solid gold or a wooden box eventually your flesh will rot away and so will mine.

One day I will slowly return to the Earth and I don’t want to do so overworked and stressed. I want to know that I slowed down just enough to watch my daughters grow and laugh with them. I want to keep building memories with those who mean something to me and I am going to create my own way against the current of popular belief.

Enjoy every slow day you get!

 

 

 

Music Saves My Soul: She Used to Be Mine

 

I heard this song on the Tony’s last year and even Broadway can strike a chord that resonates within:

It’s not what I asked for
Sometimes life just slips in through a back door
And carves out a person and makes you believe it’s all true
And now I’ve got you
And you’re not what I asked for
If I’m honest, I know I would give it all back
For a chance to start over and rewrite an ending or two
For the girl that I knew (Waitress)

I listened to this song and recognized the feeling in her voice, felt the pain in the words and knew the hope that grows inside. I am sharing because someone I do believe this is a very beautiful piece.

Reading and Daughters

I should write some more. I think about the things I should be writing but I have yet to actually write anything. I may be over thinking everything in my life right now, there really isn’t much going on other than reading books and hanging out with my daughters.

I finally graduated in May. It took me ten years to receive my Bachelor’s degree but I finally did it.

Walking across that stage marks the beginning and end simultaneously. A decade of my life is over but something new is on the horizon or so I keep hearing. Part of me feels like a lost puppy wandering through a rain storm trying to find a home.

I am unsure of what I am supposed to do now that I have time on my hands.

Well—for starters I have started reading all those other books that are on my to be read list. Here are just a few:

  1. Ray Bradury Zen in the Art of Writing (Completed)
  2. The Bhagavad Git (Krishna’s Counsel in the Time of War) (Completed)
  3. Cofedaracy of Dunces (In progress)
  4. Good Omens (In Progress)
  5. Shadow of the Wind (Reread just because it’s GREAT; I am going to buy it in Spanish to read that version also)

Another thing I have been able to do is really get back to basics.

I now have a lot more time to hang out with my kids, but I also realize how much older they are. Soon, they will be leaving my side to journey on their own path in life. I wonder about their future because that’s what I do. I wonder how they will grow up and where they will go, I wonder if I have done enough and then I worry a little bit more than I should.

I worry about how life will test them and try to break them. And all I can do is hope that they find the strength to over come anything that can or might happen to them in their lives. My role is to be there for them through any and every moment, to cry with them when they’re disappointed and to rejoice in the laughter and happiness. Most assuredly, having children is one of the most challenging aspects of life.

Learning how to let go, when to worry, when not to worry are all daily struggles in my life as a parent. The biggest struggle is not over reacting, which I do quite often. A quote from a new favorite book Shadow of the Wind explains best what I and countless other parents can’t quite put into words:

“If you ever have a daughter – a blessing I wouldn’t wish on anyone, because it’s Murphy’s Law that sooner or later she will break your heart – anyhow, as I was saying, if you ever have a daughter, you’ll begin, without realizing it, to divide men into two camps: those you suspect are sleeping with her and those you don’t. Whoever says that’s not true is lying through his teeth.”

Maybe, I have way too much time on my hands right now but I think it has allowed me to realize the precious finite amount of time I have left with my daughters.

So in between creating more memories with my daughters I will read.

I Walk On Through

I walk on through the halls,
Of –
these places once unknown to me.

I reminisce about those who-
once upon a time I met
in the classroom corridors.

I stop and view the scenery
Of learning right in front of me.

I think about the memories-
that have shaped me.

I view the waves of students who unlike me are me.

When yesterday is gone today;
Tomorrow beckons nightfall,
This final moment here;
right now.

Memories take shape,
I think about these things again.

The late nights in the library,
or that time when,
and that boy who-

Time will fade,
and you won’t recall some names;
friendships change.

Look back-
Remember;
The halls that we once stepped through.