Poetry and Me

Today, I am working on my poems, and I must have hit a nerve.

I began to squirm.

Writing from a place of vulnerability can be exhausting, in part because of the emotional toll it can take on you. Exploring past issues, rehashing out experiences that were once dead and done, reliving memories can be hard.

Lately, I find myself sifting through a compartmentalized box of memories (good and bad).

Sometimes, we bury our feelings deep within the confines of our souls and never really find closure. We move on from a bad moment and some of us never get the closure we need. But, my personal trip down memory lane has left me with a sense of healing, or closure.

What does closure look like?

For me, it comes in the form of a series of poems that explore my life and identity as a woman, a minority, and mother trying to figure out who I am in the midst of trying to raise strong young women.

And, let me tell you I am tired.

I am tired of being subjected to a world that expects certain behaviors and norms in order to succeed. I am tired of the way society has created standards of beauty. I am tired of sitting in a room where I am silently criticized because I color my hair blue (purple, pink, and green) or I have henna on my hands. I’m tired of trying to fit into white America in my America.

But, in this exhaustion I also find truths.

I find that I love discovering myself. I love the beauty of language. I discover that the power of words can move me to tears, bring me joy, or bring me peace. In this vulnerable place of discovery, I use my words to heal my wounds, to find my serenity.

Within the spaces of my lines, I build my stanzas of truth creating my poetic voice.

Copyright © Delia Marrero 2019 All rights reserved.

Revised: An Empty Love Letter

I just revised this poem. I revised it because after reading it with fresh eyes I realized that it needed something else, it needed a facelift, a poetic facelift.

I am going to try and practice what I learned at The Martha’s Vineyard Institute of CreativeWriting.

I was fortunate enough to attend this program a few weeks ago and I learned so much.

I came home with a new found enthusiasm to work on my poetry and short stories. So this is my first revision of an old post.

via An Empty Love Letter

Writing Update

Five days until I head off to Martha’s Vineyard for a week of creative writing. I am nervous and excited. I have never done anything like this but I know that it will be worth the experience. Lately, writing has been challenging and I am looking forward to breaking through this writer’s block.

I think this week away will help me focus on my craft. I look forward to breaking through this writer’s block!

I am still a little short of my goal check out my most recent update below:

Delia’s Creative Writing Dream

 

Creative Writing HELP

Hello everyone! It has been a long time since I posted a blog. I have not been writing much since the dreaded writer’s block has made its way into my life and has settled down for the long haul. Recently, I decided that I need to break through this writer’s block and I have been actively revisiting works from my past, rewriting, redrafting and submitting. I have been receiving rejection letters but they do not deter me. Then late one night I received an email stating: “Your poem, which speaks to both your love of poetry and the moment of birth of your work is wonderful, and your letter which reveals the joys and the struggles of creative writing (btw: I’ll be talking about my own first 100 rejections in the class I teach) is precisely why MVICW exists—you seem a perfect match for our program.” I received a partial scholarship opportunity for a week-long writing workshop.

I am writing to ask for your help. Since this is only a partial scholarship p I still have to pay the remaining tuition balance, lodging and travel expenses.

I am reaching out because I need help. I have had unforeseen expenses and my general responsibilities and bills have made this surprising opportunity a little challenging to come up with all the necessary funds. The program received an additional donation and reached to me for the opportunity. If you can help it would be greatly appreciated.

Below is the link to my go fund me campaign:

https://www.gofundme.com/creative-writer039s-dream

 

THANK YOU! SHARING HELPS TOO!

 

 

Write—For Me

I set out to write a new collection of poetry and I am thinking about words more than I have in the past.

The most difficult thing about writing is trying to find new words that mean the same thing while creating a different version of what I already wrote without repeating myself.

Can you follow that?

Some days, I can’t because it is exhausting.

I think about the words I  use when I write.  I listen to the way they sound and explore the feelings which I am trying to express.

If the words don’t invoke any feeling then I know I’m doing it wrong.

This intricacy of language is what makes writing so difficult.

One word can alter everything that you are trying to express as a writer.

I have been trying to push my writing in a different direction and— as I write— I discovered that it doesn’t work. I was frustrating myself with every word because it did not sound right.

Then, BOOM! It hit me…

Through trial and error…

I have my own style and I should use what works for me and build my toolbox from this foundation.

I attended critiques sessions for poetry and for fiction, and I received positive feedback and constructive criticism that helped me. As I work on revisions I recall the the feedback that I receive. Some of the commentaries I received were geared around the musicality and lyrical quality of my word choice. My short story received positive feedback about the intentional wordplay I created was examined.   The woman who critiqued me wasn’t sure if it was intentional wordplay and I was proud when she called out to it because it was intentional.

These pieces came naturally, they flowed from my fingertips with ease and poetic prose. I wasn’t trying to reinvent the wheel.

Not everyone likes rhyming, most people don’t like poetry, and wordplay can get lost in the mix but I shouldn’t allow that to change my style.

I have an awkward inner poet that rises up from time to time ready to create a beautiful word-vine.

I love writing. I love poetry. I love a good story. I revel in telling stories and creating a thunderous voice that booms from the pages making you feel the power of prose.  A voice that can move you to tears—as a writer making people cry is so rewarding! Think about it! To muster up that kind of emotion in another being through language now that’s powerful!

So why should I try to please everyone else with my writing?

Writing makes me happy so I should enjoy what I write.

If I am genuine then I am sure to reach an audience that will appreciate what I have created as a writer and that is all I want, even if it is an audience of one.

Releasing Writing Fears #2

I love the complexity of language and the intricacies of fabricating worlds.

Worlds that are created between the pages of a spine, so I must continuously read. It is my belief that the love of writing should come from the love of reading.

All writers should read and read everything because when you are done reading then the fun begins.

You can now begin twisting thoughts and plots in order to make something new.

I read because I love the beauty of words, I write because I want to imitate this beauty. I want to mimic what came before and write my own version.

I often avoided writing because avoidance was easy.  I would avoid creating avoid the voice inside urging to be set free.

Avoidance.

I want to create and I understand that creating requires commitment.

And I must commit to writing it all down but it’s so much easier to avoid the commitment.

In order to be a writer, I must be committed to my craft and avoidance is a self-imposed death sentence imposed upon my pen.

As a writer I am the messenger, the pen is the vessel, and the story controls my hand. I believe that I can’t control the outcome of my writing; the only thing I control is the task of getting the words out on the paper.  I may be the author, but my characters create the stories and it is their lives which dictate the outcome of my pen.

I will no longer avoid writing, I refuse to avoid the moments that the muses call out to me and I make every effort to jot down the ideas when they come to me. I continue to write because that is what I am meant to do.

Releasing Writing Fears

I like writing but I am hesitant about sharing. Self-doubt, apprehension, and fear continuously rear their putrid heads over and over again.  The self-doubt and apprehension lead me to write. In part, I believe that this is an oxymoron because the fear and apprehension should make me run from the craft.

The exploration of my language leaves me at a loss sometimes. I am lost in my thoughts and words— constantly. I am lost in observation and I am lost in the wonderment of exploration. I can explore the darkest thoughts of my mind and create something truly unique or I can create a poem that embraces every romantic idea I have ever come across and yet somehow, I feel it’s never good enough.

It’s not good enough so it’s not worth sharing.

I have so many creations, characters, and plots that are begging for exposure.

They haunt my thoughts daily.

They chase me down dark damp dreary desolate corridors.

They rush to the forefront seeking the spotlight in the world. They long to enter the minds of others and leave behind an impression of existence.

And, then, there is me.

I stand in the way of everything. I place myself between the world and my words.

Is this intentional sabotage or uncertainty? It may be both.

So I have decided to make myself uncomfortable!   I am trying to share more, I am seeking exposure, albeit, baby steps but nonetheless steps in the WRITE direction.

The first thing I did was enter a poetry contest. This forced me to create and compile a collection of my poetry. A total of 51 poems which explore my love of poetry by exploring the concepts of identity, love, sex, fear, torment, nature, and any other experience of the human existence I could muster up from the left and right hemispheres of my brain.

I am also going to continue my novel, a multi-cultural contemporary romance novel sprinkled with history. The book explores the harsh realities of love, loss, grief, trauma, history and there is the possibility of happiness (this is still to be determined).

And—for my last trick there are these short stories I have been working on. Sorted little tales I take the most pleasure in writing.

I am exploring the world of writing, my world of writing. I am going to take the time and cultivate my craft and figure out what I will do with it in the next few months.

I invite you to share your writing fears, inhibitions or apprehensions. Expose them, explore them then release them.

K.D. Dowdall : To Wish Upon a Star

To wish on a star in the dark of night shows true faith, belief and courage of the heart. That is what has been captured here by K.D. Dowdall. Please take the time to look at her blog you will not be disappointed.

Pen & Paper

If you wish upon a star,

For true love’s sake,

Please don’t tell it,

Where you are,

For stars are fire,

Burning bright,

And it will surely,

Take your sight,

For if your love is true,

No star can ere replace,

The light of love,

Upon your face,

Should there be,

The darkest night.

K. D. Dowdall

Copyright 2016

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Music Monday: Moon Night

I almost forgot about Music Monday. So for your listening delight in keeping with today’s theme here’s the supernatural delight of dancing in the moonlight.  This is also for a dear friend who is no longer here, Linda, I remember when you played this song and danced in your seat because you loved this version.